


Galadriel's Lay (In the worst possible taste)

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon - Fills plot hole(s), Canon - Non-canonical to good purpose, Canon - Outstanding AU/reinterpretation, Canon - Solves frequent reader complaint, Characters - New interpretation, Characters - OOC to good purpose, Plot - Joy, Poetry, War of the Ring, Writing - Engaging style, Writing - Good use of humor, Writing - Well-handled PoV(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 17:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3777803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Galadriel is really pissed off, best not to say anything really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Galadriel's Lay (In the worst possible taste)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

The world is changing, what is the cause?  
I feel it in my water – it's the menopause,  
Hits elven queens around the 3rd age,  
So I'm going through a funny stage.

Celeborn's changed he's not the same,  
Gets on my nerves, I think Gandalf's to blame,  
He wanted to chat to him, you see,  
He never bloody well talks to me!

The mirror's changed in myth and fable,  
I said we shouldn't have switched to cable,  
And Haldir's being such a bore,  
Keeps flicking over to see the score.

Sauron's getting above Himself,  
Seems to think he's a bloody elf,  
But His weird ideas make me chortle,  
You need a body to be immortal.

Now Mr. One-Eye wants to run the Show,  
Says there's nowhere else to go,  
He can have it all back – his ring as well,  
And when Eru creates it, He can go to hell!

So now I'm thinking of taking a cruise,  
Cabaret, Bingo, blokes and booze,  
I'm not getting any younger my dear  
And there's nothing really left for me here.

I suppose you can email me once I'm gone,  
Try Galadriel@Undying-dot-com,  
But I really just want to be alone,  
So I'm switching the telepathy to answerphone.

Círdan says that I shouldn't adjourn,  
So I've told him to make the ticket return,  
Then if it really comes to the crunch,  
I can catch up with Arwen and do lunch.

But right now I just need a rest,  
I've done a lot and I'm past my best,  
And an Elven Queen must bow to fate,  
When She's exceeded her sell-by date.


End file.
